What am I living for?

Sunday, February 6, 2022

 If you follow me on Instagram and read my stories, you would know that I made a decision to leave the fashion industry. Don't get me wrong, my love for fashion and dressing up still remains, but I couldn't even pretend to want to do it anymore.

When I really thought about it, my jobs have always felt like my only personality trait as I had little to no time for anything else. After a gruesome few years of climbing the product development ladder, I asked myself, "What am I living for?" When I realized I had no answer- that was my moment of clarity.

I'm not going to exchange my happiness and life for a paycheck anymore. A lot of people said I needed to do this for my mental health, but I don't view it that way. I need a reason to feel excited about life again. And with how things have been the past few years, I haven't felt this way in a really long time.

I want every day to feel like a fucking adventure. & The immediate decision was to go to Europe and add another country to my list.

This time next week, I'll be off to Lisbon, Portugal- completely alone and I cannot wait. Quiet mornings at hole in the wall cafes, people watching, sight seeing, writing daily, and seeing all of Lisbon- I might even be ballsy enough to record dancing tiktoks in public, and go on dates with Portugese men (yes, I only re-downloaded Hinge for this sole reason.) (No, I still am not interested in a relationship or "the one.") Ironically enough I land on Valentines day, and am still trying to find a cute spot to take myself to dinner!

I'm not putting my life on hold anymore, and that's what it really comes down to. I'm looking forward to some time off to focus on my old hobbies, find some new ones, and work on my fitness. When I am ready to re-enter the workforce- I will.

I'm on a mission to do me- and I encourage everyone I know to start prioritizing themselves, and putting their jobs second. 

& Start living for you again.

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