Done with 2021

Thursday, December 30, 2021

February 7th of 2021 was the beginning of my new life.

Needless to say, it was a really difficult year for me.  At the time, I was crying religiously, sleeping for hours on end (when not being able to sleep at all) and had nightmares for months. I'd wake up in such a panic that I'd blast my music through my airpods, throw on a baseball cap -Joe Goldberg style, and just ran on the track almost daily. Running away from my problems became one of the most positive things I've done LOL. Even on these brick fucking nights, I'll still do a lap or two- it's grown to be one of my  favorite places. So shoutout to the track.

This post is going to be a little different because it isn't going to be all about me, instead, it's going to be about the people that got me through this year:

Mom & Dad- you graciously took me in with no expiration date. While it's cost me my sanity every other day, I can't be more grateful to be in this position. It stresses me tf out knowing that you both aren't getting any younger, and that this is my last chance to be home and get more time with you both. So thanks for putting up with me and my hyper little hotdog.

To my sister Lavinia. You drove me to my driving lessons, gave me side work, and moved all my shit back home in one trip- all within a few hours. You checked in often, and still do. For the first time in years, this is the best bond we've ever had. Love you to your jesus and back- thank you.

To my best friend Ari. You were there for me every moment. You called, you texted, and sent endless memes to keep me laughing. You'd take me out, and invited me out, and checked in. You even let Bruss tag along too. From my quarter life crisis of wanting of tooth gems and just singing in your car, to day-to-day conversations that were solely memes and Tiktoks, there's no one else I'd want to be best friends with. I always say that the world is such a terrible place to be without a best friend- and it really would be without you. The best things in life you can't buy or replace- because to me you are absolutely fucking irreplaceable. Love you till the end of eternity. One day we will successfully make mochi that won't end up looking like soup.

To Zack- I'm so horribly sorry I never got a therapist but you listened to me vent for hours on end, and you did it for free haha. You're one of the few people I know who will always choose to make the right choices, move in silence, and to always be there. Even if its a random 2pm and I'm calling you fuming on the way to Central Park. We've had some really funny (and drunk) nights this year. I've told you every ounce of my personal life and never once have you looked down on me for it. You really are the realest and most raw person I know. Thanks for always taking the time out of your grind to chill and hear me blab for hours on end. Thanks for always being such a genuine and reliable friend. I'd be at a loss without you. Next round of shots at Duffy's is on me.

To all my girls- ugh don't hate me if I leave someone out because it's late and I'm tired as shit.

To my bb Rachel, you always invited me over to parties at your apartment, even if I wasn't the most social and awkwardly sat on your couch- it felt really nice to just be invited and to be around people. Thanks for listening, getting me to go out, and letting me model a few of your pieces for your brand. I cant wait to see your success Ms.CEO!!!

To Renee- I couldn't be more comfortable looking as ugly naturally as I do on facetime with you. Thanks for all the late night facetime sessions and being my soul sista. Work and life get in the way of seeing each other, but I can always expect a random call and just end up feeling so much better. Ironically enough I could never stay awake in Intro to Textiles, and now yarns and filaments are my life. I should have studied as much as you did lmfao. We need another international trip as it's deff time for one. Can't wait to be screaming Jesse McCartney songs with you in May.

To Andrea and Nina- while covid ruined our trio trip to Mexico- it hasn't ruined our friendship. You've been both here for me- states and countries away. I'm still so bummed we couldn't all be together, but it was one of the most exciting experiences of this year-also the most wild. Sometimes I wonder what my crazy airport husband is up too. I'm so proud of you both and am in complete awe of how easy you both make starting over in a new state and country look sooo damn seamless. You both inspire me to be more fearless and take some giant fucking life changes. I can't wait to visit NC & Sweden!

To my Kohls besties Kim and Jailynn. For us getting to reconnect and finally see each other since the beginning of the pandemic- thanks for always checking in , letting me vent, and even offering me a place to stay. Nobody can make a better charcoochie board or understand the aesthetics of the assignment. Love my insanely driven baddies- you both have hearts of gold- thank you.

To Adrienne, we really reconnected this year and got a lot closer. You've always been the smarter one, but now I know what an incredibly strong and independent woman that you are. Thanks for checking in, hanging out, and being a great friend. One of these jobs we will successfully be able to take a trip without having to worry about conflicting work calendar dates haha.

To Francis. I wrote about all the shitty guys of this summer, but I now I want to tell everyone about the best one- you. I absolutely love your energy, style, and how willing you always are to do and try something new with me. You are my favorite person of 2021. You've taken me on the best dates, have helped restore my confidence, and you're such a great fucking person. I always look forward to seeing you because the vibes are immaculate, you're positive, well-mannered, and funny. I hope every girl finds a guy like you. Thank you.

To my dapple boy Bruss. There has been so much drama this year because of you, and you literally have not the slightest clue. I'm so happy (and insanely fucking relieved) that you are with me forever, and nobody will EVER dare interfere with that again. I promise to do nothing but give you the best life, make sure you always have the best toys and cutest little outfits. I don't even cook for me but at 5am you're the only existing thing in the world I'd wake up for to cooked scrambled eggs with sausages. Thanks for being my little pain in the ass, the reason I wake up with neck pain because of how distorted I have to sleep, and for always giving me a reason to smile. Love you my hammy hammy. Thank you.

To my Coney Shop supporters- this is now year 2 in business. While I fell off for a while, ya'll still showed support and helped me make donations to the Coney Island Lighthouse Mission to help provide food for the needy and elderly here in Coney. Year 3 I hope to make even bigger contributions. So thanks for the ever present support<3

& Even to my old FS team. I managed to survive there as long as I did because I worked with you all. The fashion industry can be so incredibly intense and you guys were some of the hardest (and longest) working group I've ever worked with. You gave me a greater appreciation for footwear and footwear construction. While I barely wear shoes anymore (WFH perks) I can point out what's an insole binding, zipper gore, gum sole, and a whole bunch of other details I would have previously overlooked. So yes, thanks to you all too.

I can now say that I'm ending the year in a much more positive mindset than I started it. I feel so much better, have a clear sense of purpose and direction, and am really prioritizing all things that are important for me and my growth, and my happiness. To all the people I mentioned above, (and to all the people that were also in for the ride- shoutout to my lawyer-) thank you all for helping me navigate this really uncomfortable year. I'm so blessed to not only have you all in, but apart of my life, and it's something I will never take for granted.

& On that note- I'm done with 2021. 

Wishing everyone a healthy , positive, and successful 2022.


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