The "Pull-Out" Method

Sunday, October 17, 2021

(Firstly, for work related reasons, the below is all fictional and I am a devoted child of the lord. I have not engaged in sexual activities nor have I seen a penis in my life. You may now continue reading below.)

 The Pull-Out Method- Yes, it’s exactly what you’re thinking - just on an emotional level.

If it’s anything you should learn from hot girl summer, it was to pull out before either person catches feels. But as always- easier said than done.

Truth be told, if I could write some of these fictional scenarios that fictionally happened , you could say I met my own Christian Grey, experienced the f*ck in fuckboy, partied with the FEDS , got offered a HERMES bag in exchange for marriage, was someone's pretend wife for a few hours, and experienced lust in it's fullest form. Summer 2021 was absolutely unreal.

Let it be known, I had never casually dated before. From $400 dinners , getting annihilated by mosquitoes in Prospect Park, 1st dates that including hanging with the roomates, to having Siri interrupt mid dirty deed to say "incoming call from mom" - there was the good, the bad, and the ones that made you lose faith in well ... everything.  I met some really interesting men- specifically on Hinge. 

Some noteworthy mentions- the camera man who invited himself to be my wedding date and bailed, the patron saint business man (ofc not from this country), the Williamsberg boy who closed a door on my face, the tiktoker who made a finsta to view my stories after ghosting me, the coney island creep who lived in the neighborhood, and the man from Amsterdam ave.

For the first time in my life- I was face-to-face with lust, and omfg, was it overwhelming. This man drove me absolutely W I L D. He was attractive, intellectual, well mannered, well traveled, mysterious, beautiful as helllllllll, and could physically send you on a first class flight to another world. He was my kind of perfect- but I was forgetting to pull out. Realizing that I craved more from our situationship (that lasted about a month compared to my standard 3-4 business days) , I ended things without ever telling him how I felt. I immediately unmatched , removed him as a follower, unfollowed him, and never spoke to him again.

Maybe it was the trauma of knowing not all things good last forever, and a flirty escapade might result in having to get a lawyer a few years down the road. This may or may not be fictional, but that's a story for another time...

So that's a wrap on hot girl summer.

I would only recommend the pull out method emotionally (and not in any other way). There's things that scream, cry, and shit consistently- unless you want him to be your baby daddy, be smart.

Be celebate and save sex for marriage. For those of you that have continued on to thot-hum, enjoy-  cause I'm sitting this one out. 

Until next time.

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